An Englishman, Irishman, Scotsman...

Oh Dear Nigel

You have let the genii out of the bottle with the going into a bar joke.

Here are a few more to trouble you.

A skeleton goes into a bar and orders a pint of beer and a mop.

A man walks into a bar and says "Ouch" - it was an iron bar.

I went into this pub and had a ploughmans lunch. He was livid.

(The last two are Tommy Cooper Classics)

A pork pie goes into a bar and the man said "Bugger off - we don't serve food"

Can I share your taxi?

Best regards

Mike T.

Another small twist

The Dalai Llama goes into a Pizza Hut and says "Can you make me One with Everything".

Rene Descartes walks into a bar and sits down. 

The barkeeper walks over and says: "Would you like a food menu?"

Descartes replies: "Umm -- I think not."

And disappears.

Fraternally in project management,

Steve the Bajan

Here is another one...

As Air Force One arrives at Heathrow Airport, President Obama strides?to a
warm and dignified reception from the Queen.
They are driven in a 1934 Bentley to the edge of central London, where they
change to a magnificent 17th century carriage hitched to six white
horses. They continue on towards Buckingham Palace, waving to the thousands
ofcheering Britons; all is going well. Suddenly the right rear horse lets fly with the most horrendous earth
shattering fart ever heard in the British Empire. The smell is atrocious and
both passengers in the carriage must use handkerchiefs over their noses.
The fart shakes the coach, but the two dignitaries of State do their best to
ignore the incident. The Queen turns toPresident Obama, " Mr. President, please accept my
regrets...I am sure you understand there are some things that even a Queen
cannot control." Obama, always trying to be "Presidential," replied: "Your Majesty, do
not give the matter another thought... Until you mentioned it, I thought it was one of
the horses".