Daily Distraction

printed the hit list of targets to exterminate Planners who refused to convert to P3eV5!

"My God!" he thought. "So the doomsday prophesies of Nostraplunus are finally coming to pass!"

Dammit was Nostradamus. And try P3fix, or maybe dream about Enterprise PM or a nightmare

T’was Nostraplannus, Nostradamus’ evil twin! The author of The Necroplanicon, the Book of Dead Projects.

Are we building a pyramid, EPS, recurrent nightmares, where are the dreams, like immortality and

so he tried to look back agian at the list and realize that the printout was crap!

but his manager found the list and then told his manager...

Steven,
Methinks our learned freinds are unaware of "It was a dark and story night" contests.

A little light reading for enlightenment.

Take a look at the winners of this year’s Bulwer-Lytton Contest - which
is also known as the "It Was A Dark and Stormy Night Contest". The
contest is sponsored by the English Department at San Jose State
University in California. The rule is simple: Write only the first line
of a bad novel.

1. "As a scientist, Throckmorton knew that if he were ever to break wind
in the echo chamber, he would never hear the end of it."

2. "Just beyond the Narrows, the river widens."

3. "With a curvaceous figure that Venus would have envied, a tanned,
unblemished oval face framed with lustrous thick brown hair, deep
azure-blue eyes fringed with long black lashes, perfect teeth that vied
for competition, and a small straight nose, Marilee had a beauty that
defied description."

4. "Andre, a simple peasant, had only one thing on his mind as he crept
along the East wall: ’Andre creep... Andre creep... Andre creep.’"

5. "Although Sarah had an abnormal fear of mice, it did not keep her
from eking out a living at a local pet store."

6. "Stanley looked quite bored and somewhat detached, but then penguins
often do."

7. "Like an over-ripe beefsteak tomato rimmed with cottage cheese, the
corpulent remains of Santa Claus lay dead on the hotel floor."

8. "Mike Hardware was the kind of private eye who didn’t know the
meaning of the word ’fear’; a man who could laugh in the face of danger
and spit in the eye of death -- in short, a moron with suicidal
tendencies."

AND THE WINNER IS ...

"The sun oozed over the horizon, shoved aside darkness, crept along the
greensward, and, with sickly fingers, pushed through the castle window,
revealing the pillaged princess, hand at throat, crown asunder, gaping
in frenzied horror at the sated, sodden amphibian lying beside her,
disbelieving the magnitude of the frog’s deception, screaming madly,
’You lied!’"

Been awaken! And he said: What did you do f---? Go home, it’s late!

Next day, Poor Walter was k- - - - - in the a- - !

Hi Gwen,

I’ll continue with your second post.

but P3e V5 is not the issue but the earlier version of P3e.....

Steven,

I give up and will return to bashing my head against the wall.

Gwen, I tried!

Larry

You guys are the best !!

Nostraplannus indeed. I am in the PP Admin hot seat for the day, and spat and choked my coffee all over the keyboard when I read it. Terrific.

I have some experience writing absolute drivel, so if with your permission, I’ll start posting a daily addition to this tale of terror. I will, however, need an exemption to the 15 word limit. My imagination runs rather wild some days.

Larry

Sorry, you must maintain the 15 word limit

Can I post more than once per day?

Nothing in the rules to say you cant

Methinks I’ll just start my own thread, just to be ornery...:)

Steven

Ahem nothing in the original rules to limit speelmongers to 15 words. Would appreciate if you could send me this years winners. They now have a various sections and there was a cracker about Snowhite & the 7 Dwarfs.

Lets see what the evening in the Europe/Africa/Stateside trawls up. BG and PJ surely will have some crackers.

I also think a thread on site names, tales,legends etc would be good. Par example
Sullom Voe referred to as Sullom Woe
Melkoya as Melkotrazz.

Can’t you guys focus? All this this jabbering, in between the story, not a good habit for planners. How about one about an undo button? Seems to be a favourite topic around here?

Moodley, was walking his dog, it left a packet, oh for an undo button!

Daily distraction indeed!

Here’s an icebreaker for all you guys,

> > The European Commission has just announced an
> > agreement whereby English will be the official
> > language of the European Union rather than German,
> > which was the other possibility.
> >
> > As part of the negotiations, the British Government
> > conceded that English spelling had some room for
> > improvement and has accepted a 5- year phase-in plan
> > that would become known as "Euro-English".
> >
> > In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c".
> > Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump
> > with joy.
> >
> > The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This
> > should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have
> > one less letter.
> >
> > There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the
> > sekond year when the troublesome "ph" will be
> > replaced with "f". This will make words like
> > fotograf 20% shorter.
> >
> > In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new
> > spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where
> > more komplikated changes are possible.
> >
> > Gove rnments will enkourage the removal of double
> > letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate
> > speling.
> >
> > Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent
> > "e" in the languag is disgrasful and it should go
> > away.
> >
> > By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such
> > as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v".
> >
> > During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd
> > from vords kontaining "ou" and after ziz fifz yer,
> > ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.
> >
> > Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun
> > vil find it ezi tu understand ech oza. Ze drem of a
> > united urop vil finali kum tru.

(Just a joke; no offense meant.)

Cheers!

Fantastic Sen Moc.
Language transition from English to German.
We shall call it Euro-Gerlish (german+english).

Cheers!!!