The Necroplanicus-the Book of Dead Projects

Charlie, Charlie - did someone mention a line-of-charlie. Two lines are preferred, and I can offer £5 per-line and can bring my own straw.

Anyone got a couple of Kgs to sell? Make me dosh far quicker than this planning lark!!!

Judging by the rate of postings into this forum, none of us have anything better to do - or are we just having so much fun that even our Planning Obsessives/Compulsives are being de-toxed.

The thought of Sweatty Betty, though, is enough to put-off anyone!! Urrggghh.

How very strange, despite the large volume of postings to this thread, large numbers of them appear to have disappeared without trace. This would appear to be censorship rather than moderation and I really dont think that censorship has any place in Planning Planet. I think I may just copy this post in a Private Message to PP Admin as I doubt if it will remain on the thread for more than a couple of seconds.

Chris Oggham

This was one of my posts deleted by an overzealous moderator in an attempt to cover up the fact that he or she had gone rather too far. PP Admin are aware of the problem and are taking steps to remove that person as a moderator and hopefully prevent this sort of petty vindictiveness happening again.

Chris Oggham

How about "need to thwart"

Hi Clive, I don’t believe I’ve ever said "yikes" in my life, however, I did have a quiet word with PP Admin, who having been made aware of the problem sent me the following reply: Hello Chris, Am responding to your message regarding moderators. While I can understand your frustrations with the (volunteer) moderators, please try to remember that PP is developed, run and paid for by a small group of volunteers (of which the Moderators are incidentally, not a part of) so try not to judge PP by your experiences with the moderation you have experienced. All the best and keep on planning. Hope you choose to stay with us. It will take a few days to get Rory on the case of closing down the moderator function, please hasstle me if it has not been done in the next few days. So within the next couple of weeks we should see an end or at least a substantial diminution of over-zealous moderation. Chris Oggham

Chris and All PPers,

If you cast your minds back into the middle of last year, there was a VOTE on how the moderators should moderate. A number of options were offered. It seemed, however, that not all tha many people voted - but the general consensus seemed to indicate that the moderators should moderate their moderations a little more moderately (geddit?) - with an explanation of WHY they removed certain elements of the posting. Unfortunately, they seemed to have forgotten that.

OK, I agree (and anyone who has a good grasp of the English language would also agree)that the series of removed postings had an awful lot of innuendo - but linguistically, there was nothing personal, profane, abusive or inflammatory. It was just the richness of the English language being used at its most humorous.

I fully appreciate that the moderators have to exercise their judgement - but once again - I ask if there is a written set of guidelines for them to follow? If so, it ought to be published. If not, then it should be.

James.

From post to post the planners flit
To exercise spontaneous wit,
To answer questions in a trice,
To give a little sound advice,
To function within Planning Planet
Until the moderators can it,
We really do try hard to help,
Despite the moderators’ yelp,
Their censorship is hard to bear,
But we press on because we care,
We make a point, a humerous thrust
And then that post will "bite the dust"
Our fists we clench, our teeth we grit,
Volunteer moderators - Full of suspicion.

Sorry couldn’t think of a rhyme for that last line.

Chris Oggham

...cos they have, no humorous vision.

for fiction is not the real action, and would not make dead projects live...

Volunteer moderators - Full of suspicion
Left red faced, almost crimson

whether it’s WBS or Codes, doesn’t matter, as long as oscar can get out of that gutter, or he might be DRAGGED by a planner...

"what I ask is WBS another form of"
Why? Probably like spending a night with Romanoviv!

it’s another form of entertainment, or you can boil it in the pot! and it will give you a lot of gut! like coffee for the nuts!

Clive
Fiona is the Glen Livet person I am the Glenbogle person!

oh dear
what rymes with bloody glenboigle

toggle ?

oh dear
oh dear
OH DEAR!!!

Oscar back!!!!!!!!!!

Livet, bloody right I’m Livet
Clive - how could you mix up your two favourite S.L.A.P.P.E.R.S.
Makes the mind (Glen)Bogle so it does...

Bull! He is sitting on my sun deck drinking my duty free the wee devil and sends his regards.
For all those people who think he does not exist, he is actually a well paid, highly sought after, former Project Manager/Director who specialises in Claims in the Middle East. Civils, O & G, he is not fussy as long as he gets enough cash to keep me in the custom to which I have become used to. I think his grandmother came from the Eastern block but thats another story.

Passed away ...........
i dont think it will change you!!!

Gwen,

Thanks for putting the record straight, I was worried it was going to be black armbands. I wondered what to do with the bottle of Laphroaig I got to pour a libation to his immortal soul, but I suppose I’ll just have to drink it myself.

Chris Oggham

Bored of the Owners enclosure and the International Village Bubbly crowd at the Dubai World Cup, M was furious she had not picked up the best dressed jackpot.

By a strange twist of fate at Ski Dubai, M morphed into a Jumeria Jane albeit on a temporary basis and was to be found each morning in the Coffe Bean and Tea Leaf on the Beach Road.

Finding the letters page in the 7DAYS riveting stuff and intending using it as research & regurgitation for TN TBODP she had come to the conclusion that regular readers of the NEC were sane after all.

Incase NEC be trivialised and accused of being non informative, the Gulf News also proved to be informative for Planning Jobs in the Middle East.

Then for over two months, nothing happened!
What is going on? Or rather what isn’t going on.
Through a sinister twist and a quantum distortion will M be forced to remain in her morphed identity as Jumeria Jane?
Will the stars tremble in their courses?
Will the Necroplanicus slide silently into oblivion?
Coo-err!

Alas M could only stand the empty JJ lifestyle for 2 weeks and had returned to Land of the Midnight Sun and Drunks.
Forever glad NEC had not slid into oblivion, she enquired if SW (formerly the girl from Rio the land of lunch voucher lunch time stick ups) was up for a sherry and shabba in SHC in the next 2 weeks.
Enough of this healthy fish and salad diet. Why eat salmon, shrimp, and lobster when we could be eating curry!

Yes....it definitely could get better than that!!!!

How about a steaming pie & chips, drenched in succulent beef gravy with a fresh slice of white bread, just ready to dip in and mop-up the last remnants. Not to mention a warm pint of frothy John Smiths.

Beef and Stilton pie, or maybe rabbit, and go with the mash, but skip the sour cream, instead plenty of butter, a touch of fresh cream and black pepper.

Steak pie, puff pastry, untainted by weeds. Creamy mash made with full-fat milk. White bread, fresh from the oven, thickly smeared with heavily salted butter.

oooooohhhhh....I’m ’avin a ’eart attack.

Now come on, boys, what you need is a nice hot scotch pie and chips, covered in lashings of onion gravy, with mushy peas and a side plate doorstep of fried white bread, followed by that Glaswegian speciality dessert, a deep fried Mars bar or two.

Clive,

I must admit what Nieman suggested sounds alright, provided that you left out the deep fried Mars bars and the fried bread, got rid of the onion gravy and replaced the scotch pie, chips and mushy peas with venison pie, game chips and freshly cooked, lightly buttered asparagus.

Now your just getting picky!

Ho about freshly caught mackerel grilled lightly over an open fire on the beach and served with a watercress and rocket salad dressed with lemon vinaigrette.

Oh and fresh strawberries and cream for afters.

That should bring Oscar back from the dead, or even Norway!

this is real! i’ve just come from the WC and my manager is asking where the h**l i’ve been? i’m wasting the company’s time...anyone can advice a better answer? by the way i’ve already resigned...

Grilled mackeral with rocket - super! Follow that with the strawberries, but instead of cream, sprinkle them lightly with balsamic vinegar. I know it sounds disgusting, but wait ’til you try it.

Its like honey... If u take litle its become energy, if more you got diabeties. Is it Cliff?

I’ve just read back over the past couple of dozen posts and find myself wondering how on earth we got here! There are a number of possible explanations; one that springs to mind is that we are all incredibly talented individuals with a flair for free-wheeling creativity. Alternatively it could be that we’re all completely bonkers.

Come on Chris, we planners don’t need to know what has gone before, we are only concerned with how to get to the required goal in the shortest possible time - hence Mornington Crescent!!!!

After returning from a week working away, Oliver found that that everybody on the planning planet forum had gone quite insane.
Where once talk of logic networks filled the air, now insane ramblings were common-place, even with no Charlie in sight.

As the clock ticked 8:45, Randell made an an assumption.
Charlie....Anoon...Charlie.....Anoon?
They both made very little sense and the case could be argued quite easily by a slight case of schitzophrenia.
But what about everyone else? Surely Ogghams OCD with regard to grilled mackerel was not highlighted in earlier threads and what of Gwen, had her use of words nobody ken the meaning of increased??

Spell checking Clive! As with project plans, it is the content not the spelling of a header that is important.

As the clock ticked 8:45, RANDALL made an an assumption.
Charlie....Anoon...Charlie.....Anoon?
They both made very little sense and the case could be argued quite easily by a slight case of schitzophrenia.
But what about everyone else? Surely Ogghams OCD with regard to grilled mackerel was not highlighted in earlier threads and what of Gwen, had her use of words nobody ken the meaning of increased??

Spelling or content??? Should we bow to the Queen or bough to the Queen. Should we stand at the bow or the bough of the ship, shoot a bough-and-arrow.....geddit? Spelling defines content.

Just gimme the grilled mars-bar.

Diddunt you no that eggs is band. They is full of salmon and ella....whoever they r.

and espeshully Handcock eggs cos they is not part of an balansed diet so is not pollitticaly rite

va confersaytions juz bean got morr insayn? Watts gong on?

Mary had a little lamb, missing in the bush, Jack beans stalk tried to help find in the field, its seems nothing relate.

POETS Day

Cruuumbs! I never expected that!

Just back to the land of no rush hour, expensive beer, sunny long days and evening swims, M had had her fill of mince tatties neeps, skirlie, rain and midgies. She was surprised in deed to learn that, considering the demand for plannersm, that anyone of you worked Fridays and Monday.

working on dead projects is 24 hrs a day; 7 days a week; and all the rest is sleep! you got 12 months of summer and all the rest is winter! you got no time to resign!

Hi Anoon,

You’re telling me you only work 24 hours a day, seven days a week, and you get to sleep?! Man, you’re on easy street.

Chris

Folks,

definitely not cubans...i love the easy bit, i’m lazy!